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  • Contributors


    Cris Collinsworth
    Former Pro Bowl wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals and Emmy-winning analyst from Sunday Night Football and Inside the NFL.
    Dave Lapham
    Has called game for the Bengals radio network for 25 years. Analyst for Big 12 games on Fox Sports Net. Played 10 years in the NFL for the Cincinnati Bengals.
    Turk Schonert
    NFL quarterback for 10 years with the Bengals and Falcons. Has served as quarterback coach for the Buccaneers, Bills, Panthers, Giants and Saints and Offensive Coordinator for the Bills.
    Phil McConkey
    Played 6 years in the NFL as a WR, punt returner and kick returner for the Giants, Packers, Cardinals and Chargers. Played college football at the Naval Academy and served in the U.S. Navy before joining the NFL. Best remembered for his oustanding game in Super Bowl XXI.
    Josina Anderson
    Josina "JoJo" Anderson is contributing reporter on Showtime's Inside the NFL and is a weekend co-anchor/reporter/producer for FOX 31 Sports in Denver, Colorado. Josina produces the nightly sportscasts and covers the Denver Broncos, Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche, and the Colorado Rockies.
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  • Penthouse to Outhouse - Week 10

    by
    Turk Schonert
    Published on 11-16-2011 05:00 PM
    11 Comments Comments
    Clem,
    Ask and you shall receive ... kinda. There will be only 5 Penthouse Suites handed out each week while 10 seats in the Outhouse will be handed out. Aaron Rodgers has attained "Elvis" status and gets his own Penthouse floor (just like Elvis in Las Vegas), so he doesn't qualify for a suite. Who will spend the week in a Penthouse? Who will wallow in the stench of an outhouse?

    Penthouse Sweets

    (Suite 1A) New England Patriots - In a very important AFC East showdown, Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, the Patriots defense, Bill Belichick and his staff were magnificent. The Patriots after losing 2 consecutive games stepped up and played their best complete game as a team. Brady (26-39 329 yds 3 TD), Gronkowski (8 catches 113 yds 2 TD), and the fast pace no huddle were brilliant in racking up 30 points. The much maligned 'D' scored 7 pts themselves while harassing Sanchez the entire game.
    (Suite 2A) Houston Texans - Went on the road and completely dominated the Bucs 37-9. The offense put up 420 yds while the 'D' gave up only 231 yds while picking off 3 passes, recovering a fumble, and getting 4 sacks.
    (Suite 3A) Green Bay Packers - Best complete game of the season by the defending champs. If this team shows up every week like they did vs the Vikings ... put them in the Super Bowl with a perfect record at stake.
    (Suite 4A) Tony Romo - Led his Cowboys to a dismantling of the Buffalo Bills 44-7. Offense scored a TD on its first 4 drives and never looked back. Romo finished 23-26 (88.4) for 270 yds, 3 TD and a 148.4 QB rating. That was the very good Tony Romo!
    (Suite 5A) Michael Bush - On the road in San Diego with first place on the line, Michael Bush had a monster game subbing for Darren McFadden. Bush rushed 30 times for 157 yds and a TD, as well as catching 3 passes for 85 yds.

    Outhouse Stinkers

    10. DeSean Jackson - His selfishness hurts the chemistry of this team and isn't helping his cause in getting a new contract. Be a pro, play ball to the best of your ability and good things will follow.
    9. Detroit Lions Special Teams Coach - Why would you kick to Devin Hester, he is averaging over 20 yds a punt return and has 18 return TD's in his short career. What puzzles me is that the Lions are in the same division and see Hester twice a year.
    8. Josh Freeman - Threw a stinker at home against the Texans. He completed only 15 of 35 passes (43%) for 170 yds and threw 3 picks. This team needs Freeman to play well against good teams if they want to be a playoff team.
    7. Philadelphia Eagles - Losing at home with a 4th qtr lead to a 2-6 team (Cardinals) earns them a seat in the outhouse. This 4th qtr finish, as well as their season, is a nightmare.
    6. Romeo Crennel/ KC Defense - How can you let a team come into your stadium, complete 2 passes, and win the game. Put 9 guys in the box, everybody knew that they weren't going to throw the ball. I didn't watch the game (thank goodness) so I don't know who to blame more, Romeo or the players. Both get a seat in the same outhouse this week.
    5. Buffalo Bills Defense - The Bills defense was awful vs the Cowboys. They gave up 433 yds, 67% conversion on 3rd down, 44 points, 88.4 completion %, had 0 sacks and 0 turnovers. Worst defensive performance of week 10.
    4. Matt Stafford - In a statement game, he had his worst day. Went 33-63 (52%) while throwing 4 int's (2 for TD's). Looked completely out of sync, made bad decisions and too many bad throws. I know he was injured but that's no excuse, if the injury caused him to play that poorly, he shouldn't have been in the game.
    3. NY Jets - With first place on the line in the AFC East and an opportunity to finally unseat the Patriots as division champs, the Jets laid an egg. Rex Ryan's self proclaimed "Best defense in the league" was dismantled by Tom Brady. Mark Sanchez completed only 51% of his passes, was sacked 5 times and the offense
    turned the ball over 3 times. I've never seen Rex look as dejected as he looked in his post game interview.
    2. Falcons 4th Down Call - To go for it on 4th & 1 on your own 29 yd line was not a good decision. It cost the Falcons the game! Going for it on 4th down isn't the issue, I love a coach who believes in his team. But, the risk - reward at their own 29 was far too imbalanced. Even if the Falcons get the first down, there is no guarantee that they are going to move the ball down for a game winning FG, but if they fail, they give the Saints a FG try without them having to gain a yard. If they would have been around mid field it would have made sense because the risk - reward would have been much more balanced. Even with failure, the Saints would have to get a first down+ to get into FG position.
    1. Baltimore Ravens Team - After an emotional come from behind win at Pittsburgh, the Ravens were in clear control of the AFC North. Then, a trip to the 2-6 Seattle Seahawks happened. Every phase of the Ravens team can take blame for this debacle. You don't lose to the Jaguars and the Seahawks if you are a championship caliber team. For this effort the Ravens get the smelliest commode this week. Anybody have any incense?

    * The Colts have attained permanent residency in the basement outhouse. They might need Erin Brockovich to get them out.

    Comments 11 Comments
    1. Alex's Avatar
      still astounded by how bi-polar the Ravens are this year, looking like the best team in the AFC one week, and completely haphazard the next...not sure how the season will pan out for them, but at this rate the Super Bowl shouldn't even be in their minds until they can put together solid performances week in and week out...

      I'd still rate the Packers at the top of the penthouse level, or at least with the coziest living space. This is arguably the best all around team in the NFL we've seen in years, and Monday night put the exclamation on that notion. Does anyone feel they'll actually be stopped this year?
      Reply
    1. GoBigOrGoHome's Avatar
      Robert Malone was the punter who kept kicking to Hester. Ryan Donahue, the Lions' starting punter, hurt himself practicing FGs & kickoffs in case Jason Hanson could not go Sunday. Hanson has a strange knee injury and is being very coy about what happened (something to do with an ATV during the bye week).

      Malone took the bullet for the Hester TD. Detroit cut him today and signed some dude to replace him. But you are right, Turk. That gaffe falls squarely on Danny Crossman's shoulders. Crossman came to Detroit in 2009 when Jim Schwartz hired him away from Carolina. Schwartz should show him the door.

      As for Matt Stafford, he looked awful Sunday afternoon. You should hear the sports radio callers here yammering on about how the Lions should part ways with #9 in favor of Shaun Hill or Drew Stanton. Yes, the guy has a broken index finger on his throwing hand (happened late in the first half against Denver - smashed his hand into Von Miller's helmet). It is humorous - and a little sad - to hear these idiots. Same clowns were ready to hand Stafford the MVP trophy back when the team was (5-0). No excuses. He has to be better. But #9 is head and shoulders above any other QB on the roster.
      Reply
    1. Turk Schonert's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
      still astounded by how bi-polar the Ravens are this year, looking like the best team in the AFC one week, and completely haphazard the next...not sure how the season will pan out for them, but at this rate the Super Bowl shouldn't even be in their minds until they can put together solid performances week in and week out...

      I'd still rate the Packers at the top of the penthouse level, or at least with the coziest living space. This is arguably the best all around team in the NFL we've seen in years, and Monday night put the exclamation on that notion. Does anyone feel they'll actually be stopped this year?
      Bi-Polar is a great description for the Ravens. They have a home personality and an away personality. The reason the Patriots get the best suite this week is that they went on the road after a two game losing streak, with first place at stake, and walloped the Jets. The Packers won at home against an inferior opponent. Suites are handed out by the week's performance, not the seasons. That was my reasoning.
      Reply
    1. iwatt's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by GoBigOrGoHome View Post
      As for Matt Stafford, he looked awful Sunday afternoon. You should hear the sports radio callers here yammering on about how the Lions should part ways with #9 in favor of Shaun Hill or Drew Stanton. Yes, the guy has a broken index finger on his throwing hand (happened late in the first half against Denver - smashed his hand into Von Miller's helmet). It is humorous - and a little sad - to hear these idiots. Same clowns were ready to hand Stafford the MVP trophy back when the team was (5-0). No excuses. He has to be better. But #9 is head and shoulders above any other QB on the roster.
      What are they saying about him picking a fight with Moore?
      Reply
    1. GoBigOrGoHome's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by iwatt View Post
      What are they saying about him picking a fight with Moore?
      It's funny, iwatt. That little fracas is getting very little play in Detroit.

      I gotta say, though, that it is disappointing that none of the highlight shows is showing anything more of Stafford/Moore than the takedown. If you watch the tape closely, Moore is yanking Stafford around by his facemask for about 4 yards, loses his grip and puts his hand around Matt's throat. Then Matt faceplanted his ass. Stafford retaliated and got away with it. Moore retaliated against the retaliation and got ejected.

      I also love how the Lions are being singled out as the dirty team, here. The Bears were taking liberties and cheap shots all game, too. It was a nasty rivalry game. Everyone was a little guilty and a little dirty. So what? I'm pretty tired of the 'dirty' label. Florio & ESPN need to stop whining about that crap. Football is not a nice sport. Get over it. Pansies.
      Reply
    1. iwatt's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by GoBigOrGoHome View Post
      I also love how the Lions are being singled out as the dirty team, here. The Bears were taking liberties and cheap shots all game, too. It was a nasty rivalry game. Everyone was a little guilty and a little dirty. So what? I'm pretty tired of the 'dirty' label. Florio & ESPN need to stop whining about that crap. Football is not a nice sport. Get over it. Pansies.
      I'm a dirty player. But the trick is getting away with it. In soccer, you have to know when to stomp on somebody infoot, swing a rabbit punch at their gut, etc...It takes special art to get the pansies who flop all the time.

      Sadly for the Lions, they're singled out already by the rep they've wanted to build. When you want to be the bully, it comes with the cost of been perceived as a bully. Personally, I've always found it more effective to be subtle about it.
      Reply
    1. GoBigOrGoHome's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by iwatt View Post
      I'm a dirty player. But the trick is getting away with it. In soccer, you have to know when to stomp on somebody infoot, swing a rabbit punch at their gut, etc...It takes special art to get the pansies who flop all the time.

      Sadly for the Lions, they're singled out already by the rep they've wanted to build. When you want to be the bully, it comes with the cost of been perceived as a bully. Personally, I've always found it more effective to be subtle about it.
      ^This.

      I love Ndamukong Suh. But that boy needs to shut his hole and kick some arse.
      Reply
    1. Dave Lapham's Avatar
      It is amzing to me that the Ravens have the home and away personality you reference Turk. When you play defense like they can and have a weapon like Ray Rice who is as complete a running back as there is in the NFL....it should travel a whole lot better than it has.
      Reply
    1. BuckeyeRidley's Avatar
      Nice new segment Turk. The Patriots were rollin against the Jets & deserve the upper crest treatment. I sense they won't collaspe & will show signs of their old self in the rest of the stretch & in the playoffs. Brady/Belichick are good for that.

      I noted in my Journal entry that you know a QB is having a bad day when throwing the ball so many times as 40 or more. There are too many times when we see 43 or 47 ATTs on a QBs stat sheet and you line it up with the poor QB play. Stafford's 63 times is off the charts bad. He's got Megatron & trusty Burleson but 63 passes will show-up the wrong on stat sheets from my stand point. DET better shape up cause now is when the season Truly Matters!
      Reply
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      2. Falcons 4th Down Call - To go for it on 4th & 1 on your own 29 yd line was not a good decision. It cost the Falcons the game! Going for it on 4th down isn't the issue, I love a coach who believes in his team. But, the risk - reward at their own 29 was far too imbalanced. Even if the Falcons get the first down, there is no guarantee that they are going to move the ball down for a game winning FG, but if they fail, they give the Saints a FG try without them having to gain a yard. If they would have been around mid field it would have made sense because the risk - reward would have been much more balanced. Even with failure, the Saints would have to get a first down+ to get into FG position.
      Agreed, I said in my recap that Mike Smith might as well have kicked his defense in the nuts. I thought it was a bad call.

      7. Philadelphia Eagles - Losing at home with a 4th qtr lead to a 2-6 team (Cardinals) earns them a seat in the outhouse. This 4th qtr finish, as well as their season, is a nightmare.
      Cheap plug, but since it was my favorite line I've made up in a while, in my recap I said the Eagles tried to be the Yankees, but wound up looking like the Knicks.
      Reply
    1. mikesteelnation1's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by GoBigOrGoHome View Post
      ^This.

      I love Ndamukong Suh. But that boy needs to shut his hole and kick some arse.
      Gobig,
      At least my guy called goodell the devil, and didn't schedule a meeting. Then he said he'd rather pay a guys fine for hitting him in the head if someone was going to hit him in the knees. And proceeded to sack flacco 3 times with like 8 qb hits otherwise.

      I'm so sick of all these ticky tack fines. Let them play!
      Reply