• Top 10... Bottom 5 - Week 16

    Well now, the playoff picture is almost clear. A few wild card juggles, a Cowboys-Giants contest to see who can choke the hardest when the post-season is on the line and the ultimate decision between good and evil in the AFC W(eak)est. Will Zombie Al Davis rise from the grave to defeat Tebow in the final week? Heck, the Bills did it, even the Raiders can manage this, right?

    Top Ten
    1) Green Bay Packers - Aaron Rodgers is the MVP this year. I don't care how much Jon Gruden loves Brees.
    2) Baltimore Ravens - Still the most balanced team in the AFC.
    3) San Francisco 49ers - Two tough games in a row, two wins. Two ugly, ugly wins. Even beer goggles don't make those wins look pretty.
    4) New Orleans Saints - Sorry Brees, you get an asterisk. Marino set that record when QBs and WRs were allowed to be breathed on by defenders. Now curtsey and go one and out in the playoffs.
    5) New England Patriots - Belichick just brought in a AAA baseball player to be a starting linebacker.
    6) Pittsburgh Steelers - Beating the Rams actually causes a loss in ranking. Sorry Steelers, that's just how it is.
    7) Hell if I know - Each conference has three top teams and a whole lot of crap muddled together after that. Your guess is as good as mine.
    8) Detroit Lions - Just because they sealed Norv's fate. And Calvin Johnson can catch anything, anywhere, any time.
    9) Whoever wins the Cowboys-Giants game - I demand NBC call this game the Choke Bowl.
    10) Houston Texans - Limping into the playoffs after clinching their first berth in franchise history.

    Honorable Mentions
    Oakland Raiders/Denver Broncos - The AFC West is coming down to a classic battle between good and evil. I'll have to borrow Al Davis' overhead projector to diagram how this race plays out.
    Carolina Panthers - They're home for the playoffs but there is a ton of hope for next year. Assuming they can find someone to play defense.
    Philadelphia Eagles - Just to torture their fans the Eagles are finally showing all the promise that roster has now that it is too late.

    Bottom 5
    28) Seattle Seahawks - You had one final chance to make the playoffs. You failed. Yes, South Jacksonville High should be in this spot but I hate the Seabastards and I'm not fair.
    29) Minnesota Vikings - Peter King reports that a new stadium is a done deal. What he failed to mention is that the state of Minnesota is donating money to the LA stadium project so they won't have to watch the Vikings anymore.
    30) St. Louis Rams - Now suddenly in the drivers seat for the #1 pick thanks to the Colts' failure to close the deal. What will the Rams do?
    31) Indianapolis Colts - We're not last! We're not last! We screwed up the Luck sweepstakes though.
    32) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Quitters. You should be ashamed.

    Dishonorable Mentions
    New York Jets - bwahahahaha
    Arizona Cardinals - 60 million dollars for Kolb (Alex Smith 2.0) just to find out Helter Skelton is a better QB. I love this so much it hurts.

    P.S. The picture has nothing to do with football. Just testing the theory that "boobies = more page hits"

    Comments 31 Comments
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      Wait, you mean there were words after the picture??
    1. Pruitt's Avatar
      I'll push for my Browns to replace the Seahawks in the bottom five. Another 0-6 season in the division looms.
    1. GoBigOrGoHome's Avatar
      The Cleveland Browns still play in the NFL?

      Stunner.
    1. mikesteelnation1's Avatar
      To the young lady in the pic-

      You're with me leather!!

      Had to say it Clem. I think sub conciously you set that up with your post yesterday!
    1. Turk Schonert's Avatar
      Who's mascot is that anyway? Tampa or Cleveland?
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      Well played Mike.
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      I would think she would be the Steelers mascot. We all know how much Ben loves the ladies.
    1. LongSufferingBucsFan's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by Turk Schonert View Post
      Who's mascot is that anyway? Tampa or Cleveland?
      Well, with those cannon balls on her chest, I'd say Tampa Bay.
    1. mikesteelnation1's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by vancemeek View Post
      I would think she would be the Steelers mascot. We all know how much Ben loves the ladies.
      Bens a married man now. He's kept his nose clean and avoided the wrong places. {And I don't see any bathrooms in the background of the picture}.

      Unfortunately we already have a mascot. Perhaps the worst mascot in all of team sports. Steeley mcbeam. Yes I know, even a stupid name. Dunno why the pr department thought we needed one all these years later. It's embarrassing for that thing to even be associated with our franchise.

      BTW Clem I think you jacked your own thread with the pic! Or is it a dastardly attempt to shine the light away from analysis.. lemme review that list again!
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      Just poking a little fun Mike. Although, yeah, she'd be better than Steely McBeam.
    1. msclemons's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by LongSufferingBucsFan View Post
      Well, with those cannon balls on her chest, I'd say Tampa Bay.
      Gotta go with this.

      I had two conflicting and simultaneous thoughts when I came across that picture: "those are fake!" and "I don't care!" I'm a sad, shallow, pathetic man.
    1. Trumpetbdw's Avatar
      I don't know, but I certainly enjoyed her Steely McBeams. Wait, what were we talking about again?
    1. darvon's Avatar
      I just come to FP to read the articles.
    1. msclemons's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by darvon View Post
      I just come to FP to read the articles.
      This wins the best post of the day award.
    1. Turk Schonert's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by darvon View Post
      I just come to FP to read the articles.
      I come to FP for the cartoons ... or should I say cartoon characters!
    1. msclemons's Avatar
      Sorry for wrecking you column with that picture Turk. I couldn't resist.
    1. Nancy's Avatar
      Carolina Panthers - They're home for the playoffs but there is a ton of hope for next year. Assuming they can find someone to play defense.
      The Panthers get a Top 10 Honorable mention? This may be the high point of the season. This, and the Panthers suddenly turning into an offensive superpower. I'm not sure they have ever scored 48 points in a game before.

      31) Indianapolis Colts - We're not last! We're not last! We screwed up the Luck sweepstakes though.
      Such a great win, to hell with sucking for Luck or anybody else. Winning is fun.
    1. darvon's Avatar
      p.s. Talk about your performance enhancing medicines....
    1. brauneyz's Avatar
      Oh man, I got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
    1. msclemons's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by brauneyz View Post
      Oh man, I got nothing. Absolutely nothing.
      In the spirit of fair play, next week I will post something for the ladies.