Our naive and Pollyanna-ish site admin predicts that all 32 (okay, 31) teams can make the playoffs. He tried to show us that the crappy teams of the league could make the playoffs with some descriptions of unicorns pooping rainbows.
I disagree. In fact, I'm fairly certain that no teams will make the playoffs.
Consider last years playoff entrants:
NY Giants: 9-7, wouldn't even get a wild card most years. The defense allowed the most points of any SB contestant in the history of ever. Tom Coughlin will be on the hot seat by week 4 as they cruise to another 9-7 season.
NE Patriots: Their entire pass rush left during the off-season. The defensive backfield is a failed quarterback and not much else. The offense consists of Farah Fawcett and a porn star.
SF 49ers: Alex Smith is still the quarterback. "The upper limit of the offense is defined by the quarterback" - Bill Walsh. Regression to the mean will kill this team.
Baltimore Ravens: Cam Cameron is still the offensive coordinator. For giggles, check out Rivers' and Brees' stats with Cameron and post Cameron. They lost Terrel Suggs and paid Ray Rice. The recent history of RBs getting paid is not good.
New Orleans Saints: Bounty-gate, no Sean Payton and the only decent player on defense is gone for the year.
Houston Texans: They let half of their excellent offensive line go and their best players can't go two games without pulling a hamstring.
Green Bay Packers: Actually had an off-season this year. As we saw last year, they're better without OTAs. Also, McCarthy was involved in the decision to draft Alex Smith so we know he's an idiot.
Denver Broncos: They traded god. Seriously, that's some bad karma.
Detroit Lions: Is anyone on the team NOT stoned? Or concussed? Or both? Luckily, Jim Schartz is preparing for the 49ers rematch
Pittsburgh Steelers: Tomlin is busy filming a sequel to House. Harrison has been suspended for the season for kissing a baby.
Atlanta Falcons: The Giants showed everyone on the planet how to defend the Falcons. Just get out of the way and watch them hang themselves.
Cincinnati Bengals: Still owned by Mike Brown. Have not had two playoff seasons in a row since Cris Collinsworth was playing (back during the French-Indian War).
As you can see, there will be no playoff teams this year. All of our teams suck.