Hello football fans. Allow me to start by giving a shoutout to my loyal readers. The six of you guys are awesome. On to football. With my beloved/hated Bengals off for the week, I was able to just sit on the Red Zone channel and watch a little bit of all the games. It didn't give me more insight than a normal week, but it was fun. One of the bigger points of order after week eight is the seats heating up under a couple of long-time coaches. Andy Reid and Norv Turner are in the midst of great disappointment and the outcry from fans is getting louder. (Cue Scorpions: "Winds of Change"). As for the rest...well, here we go:
1. Atlanta Falcons-Are we taking them seriously yet? They've been the most consistently good team in the NFC so far on both sides of the ball.
2. Houston Texans-They get an extra week to prepare for Buffalo's defense. That doesn't seem fair.
3. Chicago Bears-The Bears D is a threat to score on every play. More potent that a lot of offenses.
4. San Francisco 49ers-If the Niners played all of their games on Monday Night, Randy Moss would catch Jerry Rice.
5. New York Giants-So does Eli get credit for a come-from-behind win for stinking it up just long enough to allow Romo to take the lead briefly?
6. Green Bay Packers-You take away a guy's two best WRs and suddenly he can't throw it. Jeez.
7. New England Patriots-If you missed the Gronk TD celebration where he marched like a guard, then look it up. Hilarious.
8. Baltimore Ravens-The bye week has to help the defense..right? Right?
9. Pittsburgh Steelers-For the love of all that is holy, can we please never burn my retinas with those jerseys again? There aren't enough bumblebee/Roethlisberger-in-stripes jokes in the world for that again.
10. Denver Broncos-Even a less-than-100% Peyton Manning is more fun to watch than nearly every other QB.
Indianapolis Colts-No, they're not a good team, but they are 4-3, and that other non-RGIII QB they picked up isn't half bad.
Miami Dolphins-Don't look now, but the 'Phins are also 4-3 and in playoff contention.
28. Cleveland Browns-Lucky for them, the Chargers played..well let's just say I'm guessing a whole lot of people wish they could wipe the memory of this game away.
29. Carolina Panthers-The Panthers added a new wrinkle to their suckitude, by wasting a two score lead.
30. Buffalo Bills-The Bills get a nice bye week, then get Houston and New England back to back. This can't go well.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars-Jaguars ownership petitioning the league to Pretty please with sugar on top let moral victories count.
32. Kansas City Chiefs-So you're best offensive player gets the ball only 5 times and your HC says "Now, that I'm not exactly sure, either," Crennel said. That's all you need to know about the Chiefs.
MVPs of the Week
Doug Martin-The rookie exploded on prime time, looking like an elite RB, and more importantly, led me to a fantasy victory.
Matt Ryan-He has to be in front of the MVP race at this point, doesn't he?
Michael Crabtree-Abused Patrick Peterson all night on Monday.
Vick Ballard-That might be the greatest TD ever scored.
Goats of the Week
Cardinals O-Line-To say they stink would be an understatement.
Anybody even remotely associated with the San Diego Chargers. Also, as an added bonus, Robert Meachem ladies and gentlemen.