Council of the Learned 2012: Week Fifteen NFL Picks

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOTT ZOLAK

15th Week

Thursday, Dec. 13

Cincinnati at Philadelphia, 8:20 p.m- The Bengals followed a four game losing streak with a four game winning streak until their loss against the Cowboys. Bengals fans have to hope that having four games left in the season is not a harbinger of things to come. I was sure the Eagles had a win left in them; I was not sure it would come against the Bucs. PICK: (CIN 7-2)

Sunday, Dec. 16

N.Y. Giants at Atlanta, 1 p.m- The New York media should just shut down it’s football operations until December 1 every year. They really make themselves look dumb with all those October articles. The line you see out your window is the line that stretches to Vegas with people waiting to spend their holiday bonus to bet against the Falcons in January. PICK: (NYG 6-3)

Denver at Baltimore, 1 p.m- I’m stealing a line here and am not ashamed. We are going to find out just how smart Joe Flacco is this week when he gets his play calls from a cardboard cut-out. There was a joke here about Peyton Manning, Jim Caldwell, cardboard cut-outs and Frankenstein, but Manning’s ridiculous return made it null and void. PICK: (DEN 5-4)

Green Bay at Chicago, 1 p.m- Without a well-placed and well-timed fumble in 2010, the Bears would have an 8 game losing streak against their rivals. The score of the last two Bears wins have each been 20-17, so I predict that score as the only way the Bears win. Once the Packers pass 17, it’s Old Style time. PICK: (GB 7-2)

Washington at Cleveland, 1 p.m- Best Factual Joke of the Year: Colt McCoy ran the scout team snaps as RGIII in practice. I guess the Browns think Griffin will play on one leg if he plays. Somewhere, even Kirk Cousins is tapping his fingers together, saying, “Good. Good.” PICK: (CLE 5-4)

Indianapolis at Houston, 1 p.m- These are the two teams that possibly have longer lines than Atlanta filled with people betting against them in January. The Wade Phillips defense has only stopped Jason Campbell in the last month. Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning have 12 touchdowns and zero picks against the Texans this year. You know, the guys they just might see again.PICK: (HOU 9-0)

Jacksonville at Miami, 1 p.m- Chad Henne Revenge Bowl! The worst thing about this game is to think about how bad the Jags “receiving corps” is only to realize that the Dolphins group of beer vendors, the Marlins season ticket holder and Devone Bess is worse. PICK: (MIA 9-0)

Tampa Bay at New Orleans, 1 p.m- Take any over on this game up to 75. Mark Sanchez could drop 28 on these pass defenses if he had Chaz Schillens, Braylon Edwards and Jeremy Kirley as his receivers. What? That is his current receiving group? Wow. PICK: (NO 5-4)

Minnesota at St. Louis, 1 p.m- What if the Rams had traded Sam Bradford to the Browns for their pick and taken RGIII and whoever else at four? It would not have been Khalil, which would have been perfect, because the Vikings at the #3 pick originally, but what if RGIII only had to worry about the elements of playing outside less than half the time? The AD-Ponder gap is growing by the week. Peterson won 154-91 against the Bears and now leads 1,091 to 962 over the last seven games. PICK: (STL 5-4)

Detroit at Arizona, 4:05 p.m- The non-existent force versus the missing object. When I mentioned that the Cards, Vikes and Jets were setting back quarterbacking scores of years (pun intended), I had no idea that we would get the 6 turnover gem from John Skelton. Vince Young tweeted Larry Fitzgerald that he could help; he may have been right. At least his mobility would give some plays a chance. PICK: (DET 9-0)

Seattle at Buffalo (at Toronto), 4:05 p.m- It is going to be a bit of a scene when all those Ricky Ray fans show up to the pre-game autograph signing, only to be presented with Ryan Fitzpatrick. PICK: (SEA 8-1)

Carolina at San Diego, 4:05 p.m- The Ron Rivera Revenge Bowl! Boy, the revenge bowls this week are not a very strong bunch. Thomas Davis got some pub last week from Comeback Player of the Year, but I don’t think he has a chance. Rule for all awards that are not specifically stated to be for a position: The best QB or RB name will win. PICK: (SD 7-2)

Pittsburgh at Dallas, 4:25 p.m- Trying to avoid an O’Donnell joke. Trying to avoid an O’Donnell joke. Trying to avoid an O’Donnell joke. Crap. Can’t do it. In honor of Larry Brown, the Cowboys are trying to pick off the Steelers playoff chances. Just remember the out, in, in, out, in, in, out, in, in Steelers playoff trend during the last nine years. PICK: (PIT 5-4)

Kansas City at Oakland, 4:25 p.m- Yep, here it is. It’s the Most Likely to Finish 0-0 Game of the Week. The more I think of it, the more I think that the Raiders are another candidate to replace their USC QB with another USC QB. With all the coaches that are easy to make fun of on the chopping block this year, I need to look at possible hilarious scenarios for next season. PICK: (OAK 8-1)

San Francisco at New England-x, 8:20 p.m- I really wanted to look back at some legendary Pats-Niners QB match-ups, but here are the 11 match-ups in their history against each other: Plunkett-Brodie, Snead-Grogan, Montana-Grogan x 2, Montana-Eason, back to Montana-Grogan, Young-Millen, Young-Bledsoe, Young-Zolak, Dorsey-Brady and O-Sullivan-Cassel. Is this week’s QB match-up the most interesting one besides Young-Bledsoe? PICK: (NE 6-3)

Monday, Dec. 17

N.Y. Jets at Tennessee, 8:30 p.m- The seven people watching this game will know if Gruden is trying to get a coaching job is he manages to love Mark Sanchez or Jake Locker during the game. Of course, like Gruden, we would all be better off leaving the room to get a burrito while Stuart Scott’s eye saunters in. PICK: (TEN 7-2)

LAST WEEK: 8-8
SEASON: 131-76-1 (63.22%)