• Top 10...Bottom 5: Week Fifteen



    OK, so last week, due to technical difficulties, the Top 10, Bottom 5 article I wrote disappeared and didn't get published. Trust me though, it was brilliant. Too bad you'll have to settle for this, most likely inferior, article this week. As for this week's games, the word "ugly" could be used to describe a lot of them. Week 15 was bracketed by a Thursday game full of mistakes by both sides, and a Monday game that nobody seemingly wanted to win. In between, there were blowouts and snoozefests. If you were looking for excitement, you probably wanted to just sleep through last week. Here we go:

    TOP TEN

    1. Denver-Is anybody surprised that Peyton Manning managed to wind up quarterbacking the best team in the league?
    2. Houston-If JJ Watt doesn't win defensive player of the year, the entire award should be done away with.
    3. San Francisco-They almost got Frank Reich'ed.
    4. Atlanta-To say that the Falcons made a statement would be like saying Faith Hill is decent looking.
    5. New England-Watching Tom Brady engineer a comeback like that was a thing of beauty, offset only by the horrendous 1st half D.
    6. Green Bay-The Bears should really just not talk about the Packers anymore...ever.
    7. Seattle-Another week, another 50 points. Russell Wilson knows how to make a bunch of teams look stupid.
    8. Washington-Kirk Cousins-the next Matt Schaub, or Kevin Kolb?
    9. Cincinnati-They're a win in Pittsburgh away from back to back playoffs for the first time in 30 years.
    10. Dallas-Talk about winning ugly..Yikes. That's two of the more heinous back-to-back wins you'll ever see.

    HONORABLE MENTIONS

    Minnesota Vikings-Watching Adrian Peterson run is one of the most exciting things in all of sports. He's got a shot at the record.
    Baltimore-New offensive coordinator, same result. I particularly enjoyed Ed Reed blaming flu symptoms for being posterized.

    BOTTOM FIVE

    28. Buffalo-Did somebody forget to tell the Bills defense that the other team's QB is allowed to run with the ball?
    29. Detroit-Losing to the Cardinals is a new low. Should we start saying "Free Calvin Johnson"?
    30. Philadelphia-That was as impressive a display of turning the ball over as you'll ever see.
    31. Jacksonville-I'm not sure my conscience will allow me to make fun of the Jaguars much more. It's like picking on the elderly.
    32. Kansas City-If the Jaguars are the elderly, the Chiefs are the deceased.

    MVPs OF THE WEEK

    James Jones-I'm thinking Chicago's strategy of not covering him wasn't as effective as they thought it would be.
    Adrian Peterson-He's simply amazing, thought the fact that he isn't really a human helps.
    Russell Wilson-The real rookie of the year.

    GOATs OF THE WEEK

    Jets/Titans-Neither team seemed to want to win, and both tried to give the game away.
    Josh Freeman-He must be in the Christmas spirit, with all the gifts he was giving.
    Matthew Stafford-Maybe people should stop praising all those sidearm throws and insist on, you know, throwing it right.

    Comments 2 Comments
    1. wxwax's Avatar
      So this published a week late?
    1. vancemeek's Avatar
      Yes. Andy intentionally overlooked it, then didn't even have the decency to say he was sorry. I'm so disillusioned now.
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