Saturday, January 5, 2013
Cincinnati @ Houston- It's going to be pretty hard for the Texans to overcome the injuries to their quarterbacks in this game. Plus, rookie Andy Dalton has been gingering his way to getting more than a cup a coffee in this league. What? That all happened last year? They're playing again? Shouldn't there be a rule against two teams playing two bad Wild Card Games two seasons in a row? Cincy's offense has managed to regress some and is now predicated on how many times A.J. Green is able to make a great catch. Houston's defense has also gotten tickets onto the regression train. So, where is this going? PICK: (HOU 6-3)
Minnesota @ Green Bay- Like a jerk, I shall quote last week's column:
The How Savvy is Mike McCarthy Bowl. The Packers have too much pride to give up the record to AD, but can they be sneaky enough to keep this game close until a late score gives the Vikings the win so that the six seed Vikes have to go to Lambeau with Christian Ponder? I mean, no team really wants an extra game and it could be said that they fear AD much more than Cutler, but still, Christian “Housedad” Ponder in the playoffs?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Indianapolis @ Baltimore- Cancer Survivor vs. Retiring Reformed Preacher All-Time Great LB. The football Gods are so confused here. Chuckstrong is 7-1 in close games and even cements the story with a quarterback named Luck for a team who managed to give up more points than it allowed and once gave up 350+ rushing yards and still managed 11 wins. The Colts expected wins, according to Pro Football Reference, was a meager 7.2. The Council barely prefers the guy who talks to God every day over the guy to gave the middle finger to cancer. PICK: (BAL 5-4)
A quick aside where I ask the world for something: World, please, hear me out. I'm not a very emotional man. I promise to scream and cry if I ever find out that the appearance fee for Chuck Pagano to speak is lower than anyone from The Jersey Shore; ever. Please, world, don't do what I think you're going to do. Put down the duck phone.
Seattle @ Washington- There's no 0-0 Game of the Week in the playoffs because playoff games cannot end in ties, but this game may be the Read Option Showcase Game of the Year. Unlike the Nationals, the Redskins did not sit their star player during the final 16% of the season. If they had, then Robert Griffin III would have not have come back at all after the first half in Cleveland. Meanwhile, Pete Carroll's team has gotten Seattle and himself so excited that he started forcing his players to take Adderall. Josh Freeman now has become Kris Humpries to Bill Simmons' Russell Wilson and I hear they might be expecting. PICK: (SEA 5-4)
LAST WEEK: 12-4
SEASON: 163-92-1 (63.9%)