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damgenius

WLAL week 5

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This is an article I write weekly for my fantasy football league. You may not get some of the references regarding the teams in the league, but I hope the article is amusing enough despite this that you will enjoy it.

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I'm sure I won't be even the first to say it, but Brett Favre is probaby wishing he had retired. And so is Randy Moss, who would still be playing for the Patriots like he should be. More on this later. Are you excited yet? Cause I am.

This week my NFL watching was specifically geared to Pick 'Em. I want to win the Pick 'Em. So I rooted for players, teams and owners based strictly on Pick 'Em.

After Sunday's games, I had 3 in the bag with two still up in the air. In the remaining game, everyone chose FNNFL to beat the Extra team, so the result there didn't affect the outcome. If Zap could beat Bowl (winning 90-59 as I write this) and if TD could beat Void (86-59), I would tie Ozark and Skata for the Pick 'Em win of the week. Not quite a resounding win for me (in fact not a win aytall), but better than being another game back.

But instead I not only find myself another game back in Pick 'Em, but also I lost my game to Void and am deep in the WLAL cellar yet again. Sigh.

Quote of the week.
"Housh[mandzadeh] worked his way up from a seventh-round draft pick to a role player to a star. He would be well served to embrace becoming a quality role player again, because he's never going to be Q [Anquan Boldin]." --post on FPL

Links of the week.
A chewy daily blog: www.futilitycloset.com

NFL observations.
Randy Moss' defection to the Vikings is a hard one for me. As you know (but do not necessarily remember) I own a Randy Moss 81 Patriots jersey, purchased with gifted WLAL funds last season. I wore this jersey with pride nearly as much as I wear my favorite, Ed Reed's 20 BAL jersey. Now I am faced with several dilemmas:
1. Can I still wear the jersey if I am rooting for Randy's team to lose every game?
2. If I wear the jersey, will people assume I am a Vikings fan now that Randy is there?
3. If I wear the jersey, will people assume I am planning to buy another one for the Vikings?
4. Can I still be a Randy Moss fan if I hate the Vikings?
5. How should I feel about it if (and this will not happen) the Vikings win the Super Bowl?

I have never really liked or disliked the Vikings until the last couple of seasons. On a scale of 1 (bad) to 10 (good), until this year the Vikings were a 6. This year they were a 5, because I am really getting sick of Brett Favre. Now I think they are about a 3, but because I like Randy I guess I have to put them at a 4. Because they are supposed to be good, I actually root against them when they play teams I like less, like the Jets. Rooting for the Jets feels really, really weird.

I don't "hate" many teams other than the Browns for the entire idiom. If I say I hate teams, it's usually just for fantasy football reasons. But the Jets' idiom is what I hate: I like Revis, I like Ryan, I like some other Jets players. But the whole idea of the Jets--that's what I "hate". And I rooted for them to beat another team I like more, but root for a player on the team I wanted to lose whom I like more than I hate his team, or his opponent, whose quarterback used to be on the team I hate but for whom I was rooting because of my newfound hate for the Vikings. But as I thought of it, if the Jets won, then the Patriots are affected, and I like the Patriots. So I'm glad the Vikings won, which they didn't. Even though Randy Moss plays for them and not the Patriots.

And that's how I feel about the Randy Moss trade.

Best WLAL abbreviation matchup.
Worst matchup name was for sure Poison / Bacon. This is even worse than Void / Bacon -- given the choice I'd have to take no bacon over poison bacon. Zap / Bowl is a pretty good one. There's even Ball / Cheese, if only Fromunda used the other word of its nickname as its abbreviation. So without being able to make a moldy nutsack reference, this week I'll go with Hot / Dare, which makes me think about the time I saw my female cousin naked.

WLAL game observations and "analysis".
Two teams had less than 30 points going into the Sunday evening game. Even the Extra team had 38. All three of these teams lost. The lesson we learn from this story is, "Don't have 38 or less points going into the Sunday evening game."

Coy Bacon is looking like a Beast, defeating last year's champions by a significant margin and taking a 1.5 game lead in the Circling Flies division after only 5 games. In the Ice Cream, FNNFL and Zap Whatever have similar one-loss records. Zap faces Bacon next week in a 1-loss showdown, while FNNFL gets the Tertiary Digits. With a miracle from the TD, there could be a lone team left with one loss after this week's upcoming games. But probably two. Sigh.

Worst player of the week.
"D. Thomas WR DEN", if that is his real name. I had to look him up to even know who he was, but he starts for the Fromunda Cheese and they won their game despite Demaryius Thomas' -1 point.
Rams DST. 1 point against the LIONS? I know some Balls who are dropping onto the Waiver Wire come Wednesday.

Least valuable player of the week.
Levi Brown OL ARI, who scored a touchdown for the Cardinals but who literally cannot appear on any WLAL roster.
The Vikings DST, whose 4 points barely allowed Percy Harvin's contribution to push Coy Bacon over the top for the win.

Rare moment of the week.
Shaun Hill DET started at QB for a WLAL team and posted 27 points, though in a losing effort for the Rose Bowl Champs.
Poisoners scored 125 two weeks ago and tied. This week they scored 129 and lost.
By the way I forgot to mention that Adam pointed out the interesting fact that the WLAL site had actually predicted the Void / Poison match as a tie, and it ended a tie. I didn't catch whether it got the right score, but I'm pretty sure Adam would have mentioned that if it did.

Bonus quotes of the week.
"Since I'm going to lose anyway and I'm a complete homer, let me have the Cardinals to beat the Saints." --me, in the FPL upset of the week pool
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." —André Gide

Disclaimer.
All I wanted was a Pepsi, but she wouldn't give it to me.

Have a great week.
TJ

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