View RSS Feed


WLAL notes: Worldwide Local American League

Rate this Entry
I write a blog for my fantasy football league every week; here is this week's post. Some of the league-specific stuff isn't FPL related and the prize stuff is not open to FPL users, but I hope you will still find this a fun weekly read.


Welcome back to the WLAL for 2010. Great to see most of you at the draft--and those who weren't there, hope your teams are playable.

This article is pretty long. If there are portions of it you wish for me to place further toward the top, please let me know. Also feel free to file it away intending to read it later but never remembering. Maybe someday you'll come back and read them. If you are doing that now, greetings to the future. We are enjoying 2010 and send our greetings to your Enormous Beetle Overlords. Please write back with the winners to all next week's games so we can all make bank gambling online.

Quote of the week.
"I had to send a driver to get some lotion." --Eric Bohman, 5/27/010

Links of the week.
Top 10 NFL Follies films.

The best of the preseason guides is still just as useful after Week 1.

NFL observations.
Should there be panic in San Francisco that the Niners suck? Or jubilation in Seattle that the Seahawks don't? Or consternation nationwide because neither of these questions can be answered in the affirmative? Is it mere coincidence that the identical questions can be answered identically by substituting "San Diego" and "Kansas City" for the previously mentioned teams? Is it bad luck to have exactly five questions in one paragraph? Will we ever know?

Offseason hype is becoming worse. When I was a journalism student (I took a couple of classes and worked for the college newspaper), one of the things they taught was that a journalist reports the news, but is not a part of the news. Many journalists took the summer off from this lesson, chasing Brett Favre all over Louisiana, prying into player-coach-owner relationships from the Patriots to the Panthers. Did I say prying? I meant speculating.

Speculation is not news. But it has become the habit of American journalists to substitute fancy for fact in order to sell newspapers (you know those old things) or whatever product they are hawking. PFT has made a very significant dent in online NFL traffic (3 million hits per month) by doing nothing but speculating in a professional-sounding way about players, coaches, contracts, stadiums, and everything else. This site is not journalistic. It is an abomination of journalistic integrity.

...and this is the real problem...
...1 million people, including myself, still read PFT every day. What do you do with journalistic integrity, a noble and worthy goal, when it isn't what your audience wants?
end RANT.

Is it just me, or do the Titans look *really* good? I picked them preseason to go 12-4 and win the division. This weekend made me look right.

I also picked the Seahawks to clobber the 49ers. SURE I picked the Seahawks to clobber the 49ers. SURE I did. And so did YOU.

When someone says a team is "in a rebuilding phase", what does that mean? That the team sucks. "Rebuilding" is a nice way of giving lip service to the belief that the team will one day be good or good again. The Rams, for example, are rebuilding. Have been since '99. The Bengals have been rebuilt about 30 times since '89. The Lions are rebuilding. The Niners are rebuilding. The Bills. What this means is that these teams suck. I guess it takes some of the pressure off the team, allowing them to continue sucking, when you can call it "rebuilding" with a straight face, from inside the organization. To me, "rebuilding" is an insult and I would not want my team to be referred to as doing so. It would make the teams want to change a lot more if instead of "rebuilding" they were said live and in person to "suck".
end RANT.

Best WLAL abbreviation matchup.
Probably the classic rivalry Poison / Balls, but Extra / Hot was pretty cheeky. Dare / Pig sounds like the punchline to some stupid superhero pig joke, but since "Pig" is a holdover from a previous nickname this one was ineligible for the week's top pick. Also it wasn't that funny.

WLAL game observations and "analysis".
Dean had to be disappointed with only 37 points of output from half of his starters in the Thursday night game. One of these group looked likely to take the "Least valuable player of the week" crown after the Thursday night game. However, a polite series of Facebook letters to Anquan Boldin later, Boldin and two other Digits took Monday night off and allowed the Bacon to cruise to victory in the first game of the year.

Two weeks ago, things were looking what I thought was OK for the TD--Matt Leinart a shaky but reasonable keeper at QB with Kevin Kolb backing him up. Then Leinart got cut--I'm sure not putting in Derek Anderson as my starter, right--so Kolb goes in the lineup. Kolb's big Zero points and a concussion later, my starter next Derek Anders...HELL NO, it's Michael Vick. Quite a two week swing. Vick, by the way, was Mr Irrelevant in this year's WLAL draft (last player selected). Leinart, Anderson AND Kolb have all probably seen their last days as members of WLAL teams. Even though Anderson won his game on the road, I have more confidence in Vick, who lost his game at home. Wrong choice? A scary thought--who do I play if K-K-K-Kolb is back next week? Hmmm

Bolts and FNNFL were tied at 86 going into Sunday night. FNNFL had Felix Jones, Chris Cooley and the Ravens DST against Bolts' Chargers DST and Ryan Mathews. A good outing by San Diego probably wins it for Bolts. If the Ravens DST can shut down the Jets, FNNFL probably wins. In either case, the DAL/WAS players proved irrelevant. Ravens win, Chargers lose: FNNFL wins but the Rowsdower clan put up a good fight.

While Bolts and FNNFL were tied, Ozark found themselves down by 56 after Sunday afternoon's games, but with 4 more players to play against Zap Rowsdower's Dwayne Bowe. It looked like an enormous mountain to climb, or possibly a hole to be climbed out of. Perhaps an ocean to be swum, a moon to be flown to, or some other colorful metaphor for a long ass way to go. Suffice to say it was even more whatever it was than that. Could last year's regular season champ be "in a rebuilding phase"?

Balls played with Poison, and had 50 points to overcome to win after Sunday's afternoon games (to which I referred in the previous paragraph as 'Sunday afternoon's games', to be fair to all possible grammatical options). With only 40 to make up on Monday just before the Chargers / Chiefs game, Jeremiah was still confident. "30 from Rivers, 11 from Jones," he said. Well spoken. And now Balls are 0-1.

WLAL teams that look rotten, in the form of a sentence: Dare to Void Extra Balls. Teams that look good, in the form of a turbo-subjunctive clause: Hot Pigskin Bacon--FNNFL. Teams that look average: do the math. I'm done with the computational grammatical structure portion of this article.

League notes.
Don't forget that there is a chat area under the Live Scoring page. If you log in to check your score, stop in and say hi if anyone is there or leave a message for us if no one is in the room.

If you change or have changed your team name, please remember to also change your Abbreviation so it is at least remotely relevant. Changing it to something that will be funny in combination with other league abbreviations is also encouraged.

Playoff scenarios.
This section was left in here accidentally since last year. All the teams still have a chance at the playoffs at this early juncture.

Worst player of the week.
Kevin Kolb. 0 points.
Colts DST: 4 points
(Derek Anderson: 15 points)
Drew Brees: 15 points
Worst looking stat line of the week: Willis McGahee 6 carries for 2 yds and 1 TD, Longest run 1 yd.

Least valuable player of the week.
Matt Leinart.

Stat of the week.
2009 Browns: The receiving corps featured only one player with over 200 yards on the season (Mohamed Massaquoi).

Rare moment of the week.
Detroit lost, but not because they were the worse team on the field.

Trivia of the week. First correct answer receives $1 off 2011 WLAL dues.
Who were the QB and receiver for the third passing TD of the 2010 NFL season?

Bonus quotes of the week.
"If I'm Detroit's coach, I'm furious. One of the four wins my team is going to get this year was just stolen from me." announcer

"No team that has lost to the Tampa Bucs has ever won the Super Bowl in that same season." --Sterling Sharpe,

Since [Tom Brady's] contract [is] ending in 2010, talk about a possible extension is sure to come. But it's not Brady's style to say much. "We're way overpaid as it is," he said.

"...reports emerged that receiver Troy Williamson had agreed to terms with the Jaguars on a one-year deal. Finally, the Jaguars have announced that a deal is done. So what took so long?
Possible explanation include:
1. Williamson kept dropping the pen.
2. When his agent handed Williamson the contract, it bounced off his head." --PFT

Prize quote of the week. $1 off 2011 dues for identifying and/or completing the quote. Hint: not looking for search engine use ability.
"All of a sudden I found myself in love with the world--so there was only one thing left for me to do, Mama. I gotta ding a ding dang my dang along ling long."

There is no disclaimer this year. Please feel free to drink milk or operate heavy machinery if you wish, or to maintain an erection for as long as you are able.

Have a great week.

Submit "WLAL notes: Worldwide Local American League" to Digg Submit "WLAL notes: Worldwide Local American League" to Submit "WLAL notes: Worldwide Local American League" to StumbleUpon Submit "WLAL notes: Worldwide Local American League" to Google

Tags: fantasy, funny Add / Edit Tags