Things I believe...
...about the Browns:
(1) When CBS shows me Jimmy Haslam watching the Browns in an owner's box, I am absolutely certain he wants to strangle Pat Shurmur just as much as I do in my living room.
(1a) There is a strong correlation between coaches who cannot manage critical game situations and coaches who call their own offensive plays. Exhibit A: Pat Shurmur. Exhibits B-D: Andy Reid, Norv Turner, Jason Garrett. (Hey wait, are any of these guys actually good playcallers?)
(1b) Clearly, the chart is too complicated.
(1c) Jimmy Haslam became a billionaire owning truck stops. If there's anyone in the league innovative enough to actually hire the Simmons-endorsed Madden dork to stand next to his coach on the sideline, it's him.
(1d) Realistically, this could be the new quality control assistant that guys like Walsh started hiring back in the '80s. In addition to managing timeouts, deciding when to go for two, and when it is appropriate to pass and run in late game situations, he could specifically concentrate on the upcoming opponent's tendencies in similar situations.
(1e) I've seen my team lose enough of these games to believe that this is important enough of a task to actually pay someone a wage to handle it.
(2) The Browns are very young, have been very unlucky and even less healthy this season.
(2a) The Browns had their 'starting' defensive line for the first time all season yesterday. They sacked Romo seven times.
(3) In spite of that, they would be 5-5 if they had a competent head coach.
(3a) Or maybe a Madden dork...
(4) Josh Gordon and Greg Little have grown up as professional receivers this year.
(5) When Brandon Weeden forgets to be scared of throwing interceptions, he's a pretty decent quarterback.
(6) Trent Richardson is still a monster.
(6a) He will not be effective in a second half if we automatically give him ball on every 1st and 10.
(7) If they add depth in the secondary and a pass rusher, this team could be surprise contender for a wild card next season.
(7a) Buster Skrine should never be counted on to be more than a nickelback, and he should actually trust his speed in coverage.
(7b) Sheldon Brown is as old as my dad and has no business starting at cornerback on any NFL roster, let alone covering Dez Bryant or Miles Austin in the final minute of a one-possession game.
(7c) Oh, and the defensive coordinator shouldn't call a game in the second half like we have a thirty point lead unless we actually have a thirty point lead.
(8) I need to sleep more and worry less about this team.
(9) Jon Gruden's name will come up repeatedly in the Browns upcoming coaching search even though he has no interest in the job.
(10) David Shaw is a great candidate to coach the Browns next season.
Last edited by mkocs6; 11-19-2012 at 06:23 AM.
Reason: h/t to Trumpet and Dennis Manoloff of the PD for helping me realize #10. Everything else is me except 1c-1d, which a friend I and formulated together.
Look, man, I know a lot about whatever it is you're talking about.