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Thread: Wherein I predict the outcomes of the games for Week 2:

  1. #1
       
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    Wherein I predict the outcomes of the games for Week 2:

    Jets at Bills
    I really want the Bills to win, and I really want Fitz to beat the Bills because I think they were not only stupid to let him go but *******s about the way they handled it. I still hate the Jets, but I wanted to get that out there. Buffalo once again SHOULD be able to throw deep ten times a game, but don't really try unless it is a really obvious situation. Sammy Watkins is injured again, so they will crawl into their shell even more, becoming even less effective. Reminds me of the Jauron offenses right now. On top of that Cyrus Kouandjio is starting for Cordy Glenn at LT. Jets win by 10.

    Niners at Panthers
    I don't really care. I would love to see The Emotionally Shattered Blaine Gabbert win big, but I don't think SF can stop Carolina as easily as they did the Rams. Panthers by 13.

    Balmer at Cleveland
    Josh McCown is starting so it will be a close Ravens victory decided on the last Cleveland possession ending badly, by 6.

    Oilers at Detroit
    I thought Tennesseeeee would be better on offense than they were last week. Defense about the same. Let's go with Detroit because I am guessing out my ass here.

    KC at Houston
    Houston better than I anticipated, KC less so. Justin Houston is really important to the CHiefs. Tie.

    Miami at New England
    Jesus Christ. New England by 20.

    Saints at Giants
    New Orleans better than I thought, plus they don't have to pretend to use Spiller anymore. Saints by 2.

    Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
    Bengals by 3. Why? Because I think I spelled their city correctly on the first try.

    Dallas at Washington
    I really expected a better defense from Washington. Dallas by 1.

    Bucs at Cards
    Cards by 8. I have picked Arizona to win the Super Bowl the last three eyars, but what I took away form the Amazon series about them is that they were not 60 minutes dominant, they were insanely good for twenty minutes in just about every game. It gets them by here, but their O-Line is still below average.

    Seattle at LA
    Seattle by 17. Rams might lose every game.

    Colts at Broncos
    I originally thought Indy would win, but their defense is just silly bad. Broncos by 3.

    Flacons at Raiders

    I lost faith i the Falcons when they traded up to get a receiver because they gave up 35 points to a good offense in a playoff game. I am going to maintain that feeling. Raiders by 10.

    Jags at Chargers
    I never expected San Diego to compete last week. With Keenan Allen gone I think Jags steal one, by 3.

    Green Bay at Vikings
    Sam Bradford starts. Green Bay wins. Not a direct correlation. Minnesota was never going to win this game. Packers by 20.

    Philly at Chicago
    Philly's rookie is good. He will also be injured by Halloween. Bears win ugly, by 2.
    Go, Flaming Thumbtacks!

  2. #2
    Sounds fun. Since I did not do this last week, I will continue by using the record I had in the internal football pool I run at work. I went 11-5 there, losing with Carolina, Buffalo, Tennessee, Arizona and Los Angeles.

    WEEK TWO 2016

    Thursday, September 15, 2016
    Jets @ Bills, 8:25pm- The Jets D-Line will dominate this game. Rexy may try to sneak onto the other sideline by the end. He also might just try to steal some of the post-game spread since he gave up on the lap band. Supporting his bro? Sure. Nice story, bro.Jets

    Sunday, September 18, 2016
    Bengals @ Steelers, 1:00pm- This game is always brutal. I'll be in Vegas this weekend and it will take more shots than a Johnny Football purchased round at a college bar to get me to bet on it. Steelers

    Titans @ Lions, 1:00pm- Jim Bob Cooter for life. Stafford has about a 11:1 TD:INT ratio with him so far. The Titans were a bit disappointing for me last week. Winston will win the QB war for the 2015 Draft. Mariota is probably a Matt Hasselbeck with more mobility.Lions

    Ravens @ Browns, 1:00pm- By next season, the Browns will have 30+ players on their roster with 2 or less years service time in the league. They have to "hit" on about 1/3 of those players, I think, to be good by 2018. The NFL average is about 20% for drafting starters. I really hope this is finally the right regime. Ravens

    Cowboys @ Redskins, 1:00pm- The Cowboys will be fine and win a few games. It still won't be the 9 it will take to win the formally great NFC Least. The Washington management crew was smart to not trust 8 good games from Kirk Cousins and make him earn this season. Last Monday, he was not impressive versus an equally unimpressive Pittsburgh secondary. Cowboys

    Saints @ Giants, 1:00pm- Some might have been unhappy with Ezekiel Elliott's debut in the league, but I was more impressed by the performance by the Giants defensive line. Sure, some of that was against Doug Free, but they were good all game. Also, no more pics of JPP's hand, please. I've had enough. At least run a PSA about fireworks when you do it FOX, geez. The Saints defense is still as bad as we expected. Easiest eliminator pool pick of the week, IMO. GIANTS

    Niners @ Panthers, 1:00pm- The Niners on a short week versus a pissed off Panther team that has 10 days to prepare? Okay, THIS is the easiest elimator pool pick of the week. The Emotionally Shattered Blaine Gabbert may have more rushing first downs than Torrey Smith has catches in this one. Panthers

    Dolphins @ Patriots, 1:00pm- If the Dolphins had a decent quarterback, they would have beaten Seattle on the road. If Kenny Stills had remembered that he has to receive the ball before scoring the touchdown, the Dolphins would have beaten Seattle on the road. If Russell Wilson had not built up his testosterone with horizontal exercising since his marriage, I dunno if his ankle would have held up to finish that game. Oh, for you ATS people, I love getting +6.5 with Miami in this one. This is my upset of the week. Miami

    Chiefs @ Texans, 1:00pm- This is the toughest game of the week for me to pick, but that Texans line is truly terrifying. The Chiefs needed some lucky plays, a huge injury and bad coaching on the other side of the field to beat the moribund Chargers franchise. Maybe the Chargers shouldn't move at all and just drive throughout the land, bringing "energy" wherever they go. Sure, the mood of that energy is like a Siberian Gulag, but the tag line is just too good not to use. Texans

    Seahawks @ Rams, 4:05pm- Case Keenum said he was "seeing ghosts" against the Niners last week. Jared Goff can't beat him for the starting job. Jeff Fisher is still coaching the team. Why did Los Angeles want the Rams back? Do they prefer to hate their own sports teams when they suck rather than cheer them on when they are good? Is that so Los Angeles elites can feel better for themselves? Seahawks

    Bucs @ Cardinals, 4:05pm- I think this is going to be a really fun game to watch. I am on the Bucs bandwagon but not as much as I am on the board of the Bruce Arians Totally Plutonic Love But I Still Built a Shrine in My House Club. Cardinals

    Jaguars @ Chargers, 4:25pm- See previous comment on Chargers. Jags will be one of the more fun teams to watch this season. They still won't make 8-8, but it will be fun. I see this as their first win, though. South Jacksonville High

    Falcons @ Raiders, 4:25pm- Julio Jones tweaked whatever his perennial leg issue is and will still catch 8 for 115 with a score. It won't be enough as the Raiders win a game where they don't allow a 98 yard touchdown. They still might allow one for 85 yards. BlackJack of the River doesn't even need the ghost of Tom Osborne in this one. Raiders

    Colts @ Broncos, 4:25pm- I will consider Andrew Luck's season 50% over after he peels himself off the turf for the 15th time before halftime after a fluke early touchdown leads to Chuckster eschewing the run game after 4 carries in the first quarter. I talk all the time about what secrets Jeff Fisher must have on his superiors. I wonder the same thing about what John Elway has done to turn his team to the best performing team as a whole on game day (Well, teams not coached by Darth Hoodie, anyway). If the quarterback sucks and no one can catch, someone else will find a way to pave a victory from nowhere. Broncos

    Packers @ Vikings, 8:30pm- Last week, the Vikings won behind two defensive touchdowns despite averaging 1.6 yards a carry. Aaron Rodgers will have more variations on the same commercial than interceptions thrown this season. No win for the Bud Grants. Packers

    Monday, September 19, 2016
    Eagles @ Bears, 8:30pm- The first game I ever went to as a season ticket holder of the Chicago Bears was on October 3, 2004. The future five-win Bears lost to the Super Bowl bound Eagles 19-9 after letting Jonathan Quinn Medicine Woman throw a football 43 times (for 215 yards). This game will probably end with the same score except this Bears team may let Jay Cutler get hit 43 times. I don't like the Eagles. Eagles

    LAST WEEK: 11-5
    SEASON: 11-5
    Last edited by Rich Gapinski; 09-15-2016 at 03:07 PM.
    As a writer, I'm like the last girl at the bar. In the morning, you may regret asking for my services, but I'll get the job done. As long as I don't puke on your floor.

    Twitter: @PolishedSports

  3. #3
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    Only the Jets...

    Bills hit an 84 yard TD on 3rd and 13, and after the score, Sheldon Richardson of the Jets is called for taunting! Maybe, you know, when your defense has just given up a play like that, it's not the time to taunt.

    But, then again, it is the Jets.
    Last edited by Amy; 09-15-2016 at 09:03 PM.
    "False Start everyone but the center." Gene Steretore. Pats vs Jets. 12/24/16.

  4. #4
       
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    In his defense it was a shocking moment when Buffalo had the fastest guy in the part just try to run by someone twice his age.

    Also just saw the officials ignore an illegal procedure cal on the Jets on their late unsuccessful hhovel pass.
    Go, Flaming Thumbtacks!

  5. #5
       
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    Also, am I the only one getting the game with Spanish co!mentary? This happened Sunday as well.
    Go, Flaming Thumbtacks!

  6. #6
       
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    Well, we can still go 0-16, get a new coach, hopefully a new GM and draft a QB. At least with the first pick, you can't trade up!

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    Philly has demonstrated how to throw away a first-rounder, so maybe not so safe a bet. Think Cutler will be available for a first, second, and fourth? Whaley might pull the trigger on that. Not sure. We could beat Miami. The Rams need a QB, and might be worse. Same for Browns. I would be happy with a pass rusher. If only Buffalo could have had a shot at drafting Kahlil Mack or Aaron Donald a couple years ago, y'know?
    Go, Flaming Thumbtacks!

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    So, the day after Rob Ryan's defense makes Fitz look like Joe Montana, Rex fires Greg Roman, his OC. Maybe he should look to the other side of the ball for a person who might not be helpful to his team.
    "False Start everyone but the center." Gene Steretore. Pats vs Jets. 12/24/16.

  9. #9
    Numbers-wise, that Greg Roman run offense last year had the best offense under any Rexy-coached team. Weird firing.

    It had to be because E.J. Manuel was allowed to walk on the field.
    As a writer, I'm like the last girl at the bar. In the morning, you may regret asking for my services, but I'll get the job done. As long as I don't puke on your floor.

    Twitter: @PolishedSports

  10. #10
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    More Bills strangeness.

    The Bills are the only team in the NFL who has a kickoff specialist on the roster.

    One who they did not dress last night, and, of course, they had to try an onsides kick which failed.

    If you are going to use one of your precious 53 slots on a guy who only does kickoffs, and is very good at them, why is he down for a divisional game?
    "False Start everyone but the center." Gene Steretore. Pats vs Jets. 12/24/16.

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