Week Four 2016 NFL Picks
I'm a little sad this week with the news of not being able to watch J.J. Watt for the rest of the season. It doesn't help that my beloved Bears couldn't catch salmon if it jumped into their mouths. It's week four and this season is not good from this fan's perspective. To make things even worse, I started to think I knew where this season was going before my 7-9 week, causing my record to fall to 28-20. In honor of J.J. Watt's dominance throughout his career, I will give each game a rating between 0-6 in terms of reasons to watch. Why 0-6? Well, J.J. Watt has had about 6 quarterback disruptions (sacks, hits, hurries) per game during his career. So, really the rating is in terms of Wattchableness.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Dolphins @ Bengals, 8:25pm The lack of development by Ryan Tannehill has to be maddening. The Bengals played a stinker at home against Denver where they gave up first downs due to defensive penalties. They also can't run. This game will probably be ugly, but I favor the more skilled team. WR (Watt Rating): 2. Bengals
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Colts @ Jags, 9:30am (London) It's probably a good thing that this game will be starting right at the time of my morning bowel movement. WR: 1 (Just because it will be online, so I can watch it during my "movement"). Colts
Titans @ Texans, 1:00pm The losses of the perpetually-injured Brian Cushing and the perpetually awesome Watt will hurt the Texans defense, but not enough to lose to the Titans. Although, the Titans are showing some spunk, especially on defense. However, let's not forget that they have allowed three more touchdowns than the stats show. The Lions were just bad enough to have all of them called back during week two. Clowney is finally playing up to his hype out of South Carolina. WR: 3 Texans
Browns @ Redskins, 1:00pm This was supposed to be the revenge game for RGIII. Instead, it's Sad Face Bowl showing the quarterbacking corps in arm slings while Kirk Cousins has mostly thrown like he is wearing one, too. The Browns lost because they had to fly a kicker out to Miami after the dreaded Friday practice injury. The Redskins won because the Giants had one of those games they have where they outplay an opponent, but lose. At least the players are fighting for Hue Jackson, something I always said would be a highlight this season. WR: 4 (Both teams kind of interesting to watch) Redskins
Seahawks @ Jets, 1:00pm Should I trust a West Coast team traveling east with no line against a great defensive line? Should I trust one where the star quarterback won't have his normal mobility? Should I doubt the obviousness of the bounce-back game for Fitzy? No. No. No. WR: 5 (This is still an interesting game) Jets
Bills @ Patriots, 1:00pm There will be more white men holding up middle fingers than at an Eminem concert. Rexy and Darth Hoodie is always fun. I won't be surprised if Edelman is this week's Terrelle Pryor. WR: 6 (Even though I am not a Pats fan, them in "us against the world" mode is fun). Patriots
Panthers @ Falcons, 1:00pm The Panthers are fine. It's just that their tackles stink and are bad with their arms. Both Remmers and Oher have bad stretches where they allow the defender into their body. Remmers also struggles with his feet against true speed rushers. Carolina will struggle a bit on offense in every game against a good DL. I don't think the Falcons are good enough to take advantage even if Fozzy Whitaker takes every carry for the Panthers. WR: 2. Panthers
Raiders @ Ravens, 1:00pm If this keeps up, the Ravens will be a pretty easy team to predict to fall out of the playoffs next season. They are 3-0 and have won every game by less than 7 points. Football Outsiders has taught us that the ability to win a bunch of close games tends to normalize during the following season. So, what about this week? I think the Ravens will win by less than seven points. Why? The Raiders can't quite be trusted on the road. WR: 4 Ravens
Lions @ Bears, 1:00pm The Bears can't draft, don't have a volume of picks coming and have lost half of the defensive starters. A sixth, who had not played, was put on IR this week (Kyle Fuller). A seventh, the big FA signing from 2015 (McPhee), hates his quarterback and hasn't played. The team is showing up flat to begin every game and don't seem to be playing hard. There is just not much hope Chicago. This team hasn't been this bad since 1998-2000. Thankfully, they drafted Brian Urlacher and others soon after. The Bears are the 2014-2015 Browns. The Lions should at least be able to beat this group of toothless monsters. WR: 0 Lions
Broncos @ Bucs, 4:05pm There are a few narratives that could come out of this game. A dumb one would be if Siemien has a good game and Winston struggles against a great defense. We know that there will be the person who begins the "Is Siemien better than Winston" talk. If Winston has a good game against this defense, there will be the "turning the corner" and "growing up" talk. None of those narratives will be correct, but this game is an interesting one. WR: 6 Broncos
Rams @ Cardinals, 4:25pm I feel bad for the Rams. The Cardinals playing angry is a scary scenario. Of course, because the home team has Super Bowl aspirations, Arizona can't do this all season and finish 8-8. I know that Jeff Fisher likes bringing a quarterback along slowly, but-- and I am being dead serious here-- I don't think Case Keenum will ever recover from his awful concussion from last season. He wasn't the best player before the hit, be there are plays where he definitely seems timid, even jumpy. Jared Goff might have to get in there before he is ready. WR: 3 Cardinals
Saints @ Chargers, 4:25pm The Saints are the 30th-best team in the league, ahead of Cleveland and Chicago. Their defense will never get good while dead money and their quarterback combine for between 60 and 70 million against the cap. The Chargers are a lame-duck franchise, but they have some talent they can develop. Melvin Gordon should have a great game. WR: 2 (For fantasy football owners only). Chargers
Cowboys @ Niners, 4:25pm The Cowboys offensive line, their best asset, has taken two major hits early this season. Dak Prescott doesn't look great, but he is protecting the ball and getting the stars involved a bit. He's doing about as much as one can hope for out of a rookie who didn't expect to play this season. Meanwhile, Blaine Gabbert is the same guy we thought he was. Carlos Hyde should continue to have a good season as long as he stays healthy. He has benefited the most from the change in offenses. WR: 2 Cowboys
Chiefs @ Steelers, 8:30pm This is the game where I know very little about what to expect. I mean, Roethlisberger will continue to throw 20 balls to Antonio Brown since that is the only receiver the former Redhawk trusts, but that's about it. WR: 5 Steelers
Monday, October 3, 2016
Giants @ Vikings, 8:30pm The Vikings are going to brutalize teams on their way to another postseason appearance. The Giants may not be good enough to beat the Eagles to get their division title. I think Mike Zimmer wishes he had Mike Alstott to pair with Matt Asiata. The undersold thing about Zimmer is that he was talked about as a head coaching candidate for a few years before he got the job. He should have gotten a head coaching job many years ago. WR: 5 Vikings
Last edited by Rich Gapinski; 09-28-2016 at 10:15 AM.
As a writer, I'm like the last girl at the bar. In the morning, you may regret asking for my services, but I'll get the job done. As long as I don't puke on your floor.